Take some time off, Damn it!
“And so begins the long stretch of no holidays until Thanksgiving and now.” When I heard these words from my boss during our team meeting, my heart sank. What was said by him in a joking matter did not land on any points for me, except one. I needed a vacation and stat. It was time to take some time off.
That afternoon, I had made up my mind. I would take a vacation and travel out of my state, and I needed to do it soon. I had to leave my room if I wanted to remove myself from work and actually take a much-needed break. I called friends, asking if they wanted to take a vacation with me in the next three weeks. All of them were incredulous that I would just decide to spend money and take a break all within the next month rather than planning. But something in me was screaming to be away from the grind, from the work lifestyle that consisted of morning tea, diluted podcasts, and a laptop that barely ever fully closed.
Before the pandemic hit, I had my calendar full of out of office markers ready to take multiple vacations in the year of 2020. My company has a generous PTO package, and I was prepared to take full advantage of such generosity. However, once the pandemic hit, we were confined to our homes and work so I lost sight of PTO. What did PTO even mean in a year where all of life was conducted from the four walls of my room? I didn’t take any days off during the pandemic, because to me, there was no point. I couldn’t see myself in my room relaxing when my laptop was only a few feet away waiting for me to get some work done; I knew myself and how I would gravitate towards working in my free time just out of loyalty and boredom.
As my PTO racked up throughout the year, so did my stress levels. I was becoming too emotionally attached to my work, and what was once a healthy work/life balance became very unhealthy. If my workday didn’t go well, then my entire day was ruined. My whole mood would be chaotic for the rest of that day. If it did go well, then I felt great. I was tying my happiness and my outlook of the day to my job, and that was taking its effect on me in ways I didn’t initially realize. I was burning out.
Taking time off is so important, especially when you need resetting both mentally and emotionally. I went over 200 days without taking a real break, which is not something I pride myself in. It’s disappointing for me, as I’ve strived to find balance in my career and ensure I was taking care of me first. This year I was not, but that is going to change.
In the next coming weeks, I will be in a lavish 4-star Chicago hotel room drinking bubbly wine and taking long baths in the spa bathtub that comes with the room. Was it impulsive to spend a good chunk of money on a hotel room just to be away from my room for the week? Yes, but I have no regrets. I will enjoy the view, big screen TV, and the fantastic restroom, along with the rooftop lounge and the indoor pool because I need it. I need to leave this room, and this laptop and decompress from the workaholic the pandemic made me out to be.
