Undefining the Decade: A Period of Transition
I read an interesting book this week. It was called the Defining Decade-Why Your Twenties Matter and how to make the most of it now’.
The book grabbed my attention but didn’t hold it. A few of the stories about women and men trying to get to their twenties and deal with the uncertainty of their career, love life, and family touched me; while others just rolled off my shoulder. I am 26 years old and when I think about it, I am much younger compared to the people I now see every day when I go into work. I tend to wonder where my life will go, and will I be stuck in a constant cycle of “is good not good enough”?
I am in a period of transition. Transition is defined as the process or period of changing from one state to another. Transitions always holds uncertainty, doubt and dissatisfaction because you don’t know what the next stage of your life will be and whether it will be one of glory or of disaster.
I wanted to say the Defining Decade touched me, but it didn’t. It talked about having a career and how many people in their twenties want to have fun rather than going into a career. That is the thoughts of the privileged, which I am not. I don’t have a safety net to play around with my career or take fun jobs to go traveling. I need a career in order to live, to eat, to grow and to provide for my family when they can’t provide for themselves. There is no safety net in my life. It’s sink or swim and right now, I’m doing neither. I’m floating through life as I wait for this transition period to pass.
The year has taken its toll on me, and in the midst of my scattered thoughts and actions, I haven’t been able to fully assess my goals and aspirations for the new year; nor have I had a moment to reflect on the year and how it has impacted who I am as a person, both personally and professionally. There is so much I still must learn about myself and so many words that have been left unsaid in the midst of working from home and quarantining. I still believe I haven’t truly grown into my true self yet and that’s ok right now, because of this period of transition.
I haven’t felt accomplished in my career and have barely been keeping up with the workload for the last six months. The motivation I had in 2019 has since dissipated and all that’s been left is the instinct to survive. I have to work to pay bills and provide for the people I care about, and while I have a job, I have to do my best to keep it. Mentally, I can be exhausted but when it comes to my work, I must stay afloat; and that’s what I’ve been doing. Honestly, it’s hard to be in the space of feeling ‘in-between’ two important parts of your life, and not knowing what’s next. However, I just take it day by day and try to stay grateful for the fact that I’m still in my career job, no matter how stagnant I may feel.
Although the Defining Decade didn’t really describe my experience, who could have imagined 2020 and how it would affect not just the job market, but the world as a whole. Jobs that were once the most stable to be in quickly collapsed into oblivion. At this point, all I can do is try…try to make it in this world and be the person I know I can be. Some nights I want to throw in the towel and give up and let God take me from this world. Yet, most nights I just keep persevering and reminding myself not to give up. There is much better out there for me, so…wake up.
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always try just one more time”— Thomas Edison.
