Ingrained Lessons about Work

What lessons were you taught about work that could be impacting you?

Although Black people are the minority in the US, we make up the largest percentage of unionized labor according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. My step dad and mother were both unionized workers. They routinely worked overtime, including on weekends and holidays. If you are a child of unionized workers, then you know about the quick math exercise that your parents undertook to calculate how much they would earn when they worked on a holiday and especially if they worked more than eight hours during those days. You probably even remember that some union workers had to work on the day before and/or after the holiday to qualify for “double time” payout.

My mom, in an earlier role in her career, was more than happy to have the opportunity to turn overtime into a social event. When I was a kid, she counseled youths, and loved when she had the chance to bring me along for the weekend or evening activities that she took them on. It was her way of killing two birds with one stone — quality time with me and a fulfilling work day. She was very content  in that position, and growing up, I thought this was what I should attempt to emulate in my own career.

I learned to blur the lines between work and my personal life. I operated under the impression that fulfilment was found primarily when you were privileged enough to enjoy work activities because you should always be working. I will go as far to say that I tied my satisfaction to how much multitasking I could achieve. Did you notice what I said? That I was well, privileged to always be working… sounds like a slave master’s dream, doesn’t it? But I digress.

I had been satisfied living under this ideology that my work/life balance was in equilibrium until I reached a breaking point caused by the isolation engendered by COVID-19, which resulted in my position being changed to remote work for the indefinite future. Isolation and working from home has made me realize that without the physical separation between my home and work life, I am just a messy unsatisfactory mix of work and frustration. 

That was until, one day, I was forced to unplug from work and was overcome by a sense of relief to not actually be working. I did not care if someone emailed me and received my out of office reply and it felt so good. I was able to go back to work the next day and power through my tasks with renewed focus. The messages that usually would have triggered me and made me feel like I needed to Call People Out without Blacking Out were actually quite trivial. My anthem over that next week or so ended up being Press by Cardi B. because I realized that I didn’t need any “press” in my life. It felt satisfying to power through my work day before beginning my private time. I was more focused during my time at work and connected better with people in my private life because I wasn’t always talking about work, thinking about work, or checking on my work emails.

I challenge you to think about the ideals passed down to you regarding work and your career from your parents to see how it has impacted your life. Then, when you’re finished, take action to correct anything that is no longer serving you well. As for myself, I’ll be regularly taking a little separation from work because the time off is needed, especially while work is at home. I now know that work does not need to be a major defining role in my happiness. I can find happiness in my personal life, and the time spent with the people I love. 

Tell me in the comments section what you think about any lessons you learned about work from your upbringing.

Share on Facebook

Tweet

Follow us